And you are one of them.
Thank you my friend.

When a heart is broken, there are a number of things that run in the mind of the victim. With the loss of security [in the case of woman], company [both man and woman] and someone to share dreams and aspirations with [both man and woman], the life of a person is marred by hopelessness.

Shattered dreams can be restored, but a broken heart, takes time to heal. It’s easier to mend the dreams by following them with a lot of hope and resilience, than trying to stitch the broken heart. This is because a broken heart feels that it has lost a part of itself, yet it must survive in one way or the other.

So when the world turns dark, all because of heartbreak, a bemused lover need not wallow in the past. Wallowing in pain, can disintegrate the mind, and break the heart further[contemplating or] leading to suicide. The most important thing is building a strong avenue for overcoming this painful journey, and this can be done by:
Accepting that the heart is already heartbroken. The breaking of the smallest yet significant part of a human being; there are two things which are rampant – the situation can be reversed or not. If the latter, forcing things to work out will not be the best option.
Seeking help or becoming busy with something that will erase any mark of the past can come in handy.
Fighting the feelings with false hopes, will make the situation worse. Facing the situation as it is, will give better strategies for overcoming the pain and build a strong heart.

Speaking out with trusted friends and close family members will make the landing impact softer. Joining a support group can help one improve on their esteem since most of the people in the group must have undergone through the journey. The feeling of isolation is overcome.

The aggrieved should take a rest from normal schedules because when the heart has been ‘tampered’ with emotionally and psychologically, all the energies are worn out leading to less carrying out of tasks.

After undergoing through these steps, then the next part is moving on. It should not just occur automatically; rather it must be a process… a process that is both involving and tiresome. This is so because if one was in a relationship for five, ten or even three years, then the partner calls it over, sadness, confusion and bitterness will creep in because there was mutual sharing of emotional joys and pain. And getting out of a relationship even when it is imminent is harder than getting into one.

It would be destructive for one to remain stuck in depression for long. After any heartbreaking, there is always a room for improvement, and the future is on the offing. The end of a beautiful relationship should not be considered as the end of rekindling a lost love or of even falling in love once again.

Their names are Who, When, Where, What, Why and How. The first five obviously, because of their nature are really temperamental, while the sixth is accommodative and although she is naïve, she can just be as quarrelsome, as the rest.

Who always wants to know all my friends are. She likes scrolling through my phone book and messages. She is secretive, inquisitive and a protector – she doesn’t like me talking to any woman.

When comes in handy at the end of the month. She knows that time I must be loaded. After all, what could be the reason for going out to eke a living for 30 or so days? At times she understands when I explain the economy is quite messy, but most of it she thinks I’m not spending my hard-earned wisely or I share it out with females at a local club.

I met Where on one of city’s Red Light Districts. (Don’t ask me what I had gone to do there). She told me her parents passed on and that she didn’t have anywhere to go. Her only means of survival lied on her flesh. According to analogy, that was the last option, but it miraculously became the first. Since I’m a human being, I offered to help her come out of the mess only if she promised to leave that filthy business. Since then, we’ve been partners. Interestingly enough, she doesn’t stray out of me.

The next girl, What, is the most temperamental of all. She doesn’t like being asked questions. To her, that’s infringement of her rights. I think she should have been a lawyer or a journalist or something like that… a nurse,a receptionist or anything else.

Why on the other hand asks really hard questions. I think it’s her human nature to ask questions, but when they become really hard… I just take an newspaper and straight go to the classifieds section or take a long walk to where my legs would carry me. I end up at my last girl’s, How.

Since I always make it to her place, which I rent out as the rest of her colleagues, late at night after a brawl (usually with Why), How will enquire whether all is fine. After cheating her around, she comforts me, but then as with the rest, lack of money, is her greatest foe. That means she won’t talk to me for as long as there is no money. However, I won’t miss the warmth that a man is bequeathed.

With these kind of girls, what more can a man ask for?

A good woman is proud. She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition
from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to
read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs.

A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all
her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives
love. She recognizes that her love has great value and must be
reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.

A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance.
She knows that she will at times have to inspire others to reach
their full potential. A good woman knows her past, understands
her present and forces toward the future.

A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her
past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are
merely lessons meant to bring her closer to self-knowledge and
unconditional self-love.

This passage is to be applied to individuals, but may it not also be applied to the church of God, which is described as a virtuous spouse? God by his grace has formed from among sinful men a church of true believers, to possess all the excellences here described.

The first one is courage. I define it as the will power to do something without any disregard of the surroundings. This means working towards achieving a result based on optimism. To be courageous is putting a strong commitment, belief and understanding of reaching to some goals, objectives or targets that you’ve set.
Courage is closely followed by faith, a complete belief that something planned for, will happen within an expected period of time or moment. Faith in essence helps an individual realize that challenges ahead will be overcome no matter how difficult they look. Challenges are there to measure how strong one is. But the most important thing is not how to overcome them, but how to behave when they become a part of your life.

The third character is hope, and just like faith, it enables one to know that the set goals will somehow be met. It is a complete avenue in which one’s priorities are set hand in hand with the challenges, in order to churn out the hindrances that might make the achievements of the goals a reality. Hope is being optimistic that life’s challenges are just a stepping stone to reaping the benefits of the temporary deviation(challenges) in life.

In all these, fear can never miss. Like a snake that coils itself, waiting for an unknown bait to pass, fear does not allow a person to meet the goals as planned. It comes with negations such as: I can’t make it in life, I’m born a weakling, my family is made up of failures, I don’t care, no one cares for me, I don’t think I’m worthy trying, this life is all useless, no one notices my effort, I don’t have this or that, among others. These negations can drain one’s energy that at the end of a long journey, it turns out the effort made, was all useless.

In all the strides one makes in life, these are the basic things that come along the way, and depending on how one’s heart is, the making to the end of the bridge. Since some challenges are man-made, only man-made solutions can be found to solve them, and know that life is not a straight path.

Long before she gave birth to the twins, Tasha fell in love or rather infatuated with a certain man. And since both had this heat deep down in their hearts, ran for the sheets. In no time, she started falling sick in the morning and missed her menses. She sensed danger. And with the strength of a woman, told the man of the good news. The guy was too good to listen and too nice to lose. He advised her that the best thing to do was to abort the unborn baby as a way of showing his love. She was too disturbed… too much to bear the pain, but since love was in the offing, she gave in to his demands.
Immediately after she took the choice, he vanished into the thin air.

Today Tasha stood on kerb of the highway, with her children strapped; one on her back and the other on the front. The one on her front was suckling Tasha’s almost empty breast. The other one was asleep.
The highway was a busy one. She chose a spot where vehicles drove at a high speed; closed her eyes, with tears flowing, and walked right in the middle of the road.

Moments later, the screeching and honking of the vehicles, reigned the air, as the lifeless bodies splattered all over the road…

A few steps ahead, another couple is on the extreme. They are actually caressing right in the streets. The girl, of diminutive make, first pushes the slender man away. He finds his way back and repeats the whole thing and the girl throws him down – the things we do for love!
I pass and quickly go to the bus stop. I later find myself going back the same route, and the two are in a relaxed mood. The guy is playing with her chest structure, as she tickles his moustache. I look at the girl bitterly and she stares at me arrogantly.

I pass quickly, not waiting to spoil the mood of these two ‘love birds.’

Later, I’m at my usual bus stage. Cold weather reigns the air but skimpily dressed girls don’t seem to be affected by this. I’m chattering and cluttering because, despite a heavy sweater, I feel cold, yet these girls, are not shaken a bit.

I could see from afar, people in restaurant looking at us, as we scramble for the few buses around. Some are laughing carelessly as others eat in awe silence.
Most of the pedestrians yawned almost intermittently either due to fatigue or hunger or both. As usual, there are people on their mobile phones who shout at the top of their voices, the post-teens listening to in-built radio via ear phones and clicking on their phones keypads.

I’m still thinking of the moustache tickling girl and whether as I’m writing this, they made out on the streets, booked a lodging or made it to the man’s place for mission accomplishment?

Necessary evil indeed!

My watch read 14:56.

As I was about to hang my phone, a male voice called on the other end, using Steh’s phone.
‘Hallo sir, we’ve just been involved in an accident, and the owner of this phone, is among the most seriously injured.’
I only heard the last part, and stammered, ‘wh-a-a-t?!’
‘The accident took place a few minutes ago… at Independence Highway near the Famous Grill. You need to come over if you are able.’ And he hanged the phone. I tried calling back, but the recorded voice prompt told me the number is unavailable.
I tried again, without luck. I was now more confused.

* * *

The Accident Scene

The accident scene was a replica of a battle field. Glasses splattered all over, blood marks were spread in different areas, blood stained personal effects were carelessly spread in the scene, but the victims, survivors and vehicles involved in the crash, were nowhere to be seen. Not Steh or the good Samaritan could be spotted. The police and eager onlookers were the only conspicuous people around.

Tears streamed on my cheeks – it has been years since I last shed a tear – hoping that the scene was not a resplendent of what to find ahead. My hope was that Steh would be fine.

* * *
At the Hospital

At 4:30 p.m, I quickly drove to the hospital praying that God lets me see Steh in good condition. Over a number of times, I almost caused accidents. The hospital which was a few kilometres away, seemed far away today. But I had to make it.
The casualty department at the referral hospital was filled to the capacity. Patients kept on streaming in. Most of them didn’t show any physical injury but you could see they were in deep pain – their faces could tell it all. Young mothers ‘zombied’ in with their babies strapped on their backs and limping men strolled in wearing painful faces – a replica of soldiers coming from a lost battle. The doctors in blue badges walked briskly in front of the dying patients as eyes wandered with the hope of being assisted.

Two hours later, I still hadn’t seen Steh. Neither had I seen anyone to help me out. The doctors didn’t bother lend a helping a hand. When you approach one, they quickly frown, and before you could say something, they arrogantly tell you ‘I don’t know!’
Half an hour later, I saw Steh lying on the stretcher, with dried blood all over her. She was at the far corner of the large room. I rushed to where she lay, hugged her not caroing about the blood on her clothes.
‘Steh,’ I called her out.
Silence.
I repeated the call, still nothing.
As tears flowed, I called out the last time. And, like in the previous calls, she didn’t answer. I knew the worst had already taken place.

* * *
Stella and I had broken ranks about two months before. She confided in me that the burning heat had long died. And that she wasn’t ready to mingle. She only needed her daughter whose father wasn’t I. This came in like a sledgehammer pounding away in the head. I tried convincing her not to kill the candle, but she had made up her mind.

* * *
It was so unfortunate that Steh passed on, a day to her birthday, which I had planned to try my luck in convincing her to let the burning desire glow.

If only I could wipe the tears on your eyes
And turn them into love that’s fading away

If only I could hold you so tight
That I feel your blood flowing
And brighten you, always

If only you could listen to my heart
And give it a shining chance
That it misses deeply

If only you could stop torturing my mind
And blow your love this way
So that we could share love

But…
This is just a thought,
A wish that beams all about you
Because I miss you…
More than ever.

If only, just if only…